Happy Birthday Eren
by YumeMusouka
Summary: This is half comedy and half smut for Eren's birthday. It's 4 a.m. and I wrote smut. Am I proud of myself? I don't know.


**Please excuse my mistakes.**

 **I literally wrote this because of the trailer for the remake of It the Clown.**

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you back?" Mikasa asked.

"Mika, I'm fiiine. My dorm iz liderally down the street," Eren slurred as he waved his friend off.

"At least put the beer away," Mikasa pleaded as she started to clean up her dorm. It looked like a tornado ran through her place and then decided it went the wrong way so it came back.

"It's okies! I got dis," Eren pouted as he took another sip of the beer in his hand. "I wuv you!"

Eren blew kissy faces to his friend, basically sister, as he walked to the door. Mikasa chuckled with a roll of her eyes as she put a blanket over a very knocked out Armin on the couch. She walked to Eren, maneuvering around the bodies on the ground. Everyone had drunk too much and passed out everywhere in Mikasa's dorm, leaving no space for Eren to sleep. Which was why he had to leave, because, in his words, he couldn't sleep with anyone next to him unless they were hot as fuck. Eren pouted as Mikasa forced a hug on him. He didn't want hugs. He wasn't a child anymore.

"I love you too," Mikasa said. She grabbed the gifts bag by the door and put them in Eren's free hand. "Don't forget your presents. And Eren?"

"Yeass, mumma?" Eren gave Mikasa a questioning look. He couldn't decide on whether to say "yes" or "yea," but he was pretty sure that he sounded awesome.

"Happy birthday," Mikasa smiled.

"Thanks!" Eren chirped as Mikasa moved to open the door.

"Be safe," Mikasa warned.

"Always am!" Eren saluted with the beer in his hand, causing some of it to splash on his face. He wiped it off with his fingers and licked them. Mikasa rolled her eyes again as Eren kissed her cheek with his disgusting self.

Eren walked out of the dorm room, giving Mikasa one last wave of goodbye. He quickly made it to the elevator. He pushed the down button, being oddly fascinated at how it flashed red. He watched the numbers change on top of the elevator doors. He never noticed before, but elevators were so cool. Eren giggled to himself, thinking about all the people in the past who had to walk their asses everywhere. Their lives must had been so sad and tiring. But him? Yea, Eren's life was wonderful!

Eren giggled yet again when the elevator dinged, announcing its presence at level 5. The doors opened, ready to take him in. It was magical to be lazy. How did elevators even work? Ignoring the thought that he wouldn't be able to find the answer to due to the state he was in, he pressed the ground button. The doors closed again and started to move. Eren almost tripped over himself because the force of the elevator moving was like a tidal wave. Was that an exaggeration? Yes, yes it was.

Eren took another sip of his beer. He pouted to himself when he realized that it was almost all gone. The elevator dinged yet again, telling him that he was on his floor. Eren stepped out and waved at the magical elevator. With a goofy smile and unfocused eyes, he said, "Bye byez, Mr. Elevator."

Eren walked to the door of the building. With a push, he made his way through the door, feeling the cool night air of spring hitting him. Giggling to himself, he walked down the street to his dorm building. Ah, he loved the night sky. It was so beautiful and the beer made it look even better. Which was probably bad, but the college student could hardly give a fuck. Eren giggled yet again, he was swearing to himself in his mind. He was being crazy. He took another sip of his beer, finishing it. He walked past Mikasa's dorm building to only nearly choke choke to death on the beer he had yet to swallow.

He coughed as he stared at the creature staring back at him. It was literally right in front of his face. He didn't know if the person was a man or a woman, but that was the least of his worries. The person's, creature's, face was painted whiter than a ghost, big nose red as a cherry, eyes outlined black with tiny tear lines, hair was puffy and bright red, and its outfit… fuck. IT. Eren just continued to stare at the creature before him. If he had not been so drunk, he would had ran his ass by now. It was only when it smiled with creepy teeth did he regain his body motors back. Without thinking about the consequences, he moved at the speed of light. Which was probably not very fast, seeing how he was, again, drunk as fuck.

He smashed his empty glass beer bottle against the clown's head.

At the sound of the clown screaming followed by glass pieces hitting the ground, Eren regained his judgement. He let out a gasp as he stared at the clown crouching on the ground. Fuck, he just assaulted a person, because It would had just laughed. He dropped his gifts and crouched down to patted the clown's back. He saw a small trail of blood coming down the clown's head. It was really small compared to what it really should had been, so maybe the clown had a really hard head. Eren tilted his head, unsure what to do.

"I am so da sorryz," Eren apologized with his slur. "Ya scared da shitz outta me. Shoudah we go to da hospitaalz?"

Eren thought that the clown would was mad and hurting. It didn't reply to him, so he was about to say something again. He stopped himself when he heard it. A LAUGH. A crazy sounding laugh, to be precised. The clown went on a laughing spree. The clown was not human… possibly. The college boy felt his heart race, because it was truly fucking scary. Maybe he should had had Mikasa walk him. This was the one time that he was not safe. Eren raised his hand again and smacked the shit out of the clown. If he was going to die on his 21st birthday, then he was going to do it right, with a fight.

He held the clown down with his weight and continued to hit the clown. He ignored all the pleas from the clown. He was too scared to stop, but he was sure he wasn't doing much damage with his drunken arms anyways.

"Aargh! Stop! STOP! STOOOP!" The clown screamed. "I'm sorry for scaring you! Just stop hitting me!"

"Bwahahahahahaha!" A new voice laughed.

"LEEEEVIII! Help ME! Stop the little MONSTER!" The clown pleaded to the new voice.

Before Eren could evaluate the situation with his drunken mind, arms went around him and pulled him away from the clown. Eren looked down and was relieved that they were normal human arms. After being pulled back up to his feet from the stranger, he felt the chest pressed against his back rumble with laughter. He watched as the clown got up while it stared back at him cautiously, afraid that Eren would come back to hit them again. Eren's body was then forcibly turned around to face the third person.

Eren's eyes widened as his mind went blank.

"You are so da hot," Eren said. Realizing he said it out loud, he blushed a little, reddening his already drunken flushed cheeks.

The man, Levi, bursted out in laughter again, causing Eren to pout in embarrassment. Levi pulled his jet black hair back as he regained his posture. The man looked at Eren with his steel eyes, the sides crinkled with amusement. Thin lips opened to speak with a deep clear voice, "Thanks, I guess. You're not so bad on the eyes either. I was just gonna say 'sorry we scared your cute little ass.'"

"Oooh," Eren averted his eyes from the sexy specimen before him. Eren was taller than him, but he sure as hell felt smaller. "Um… maaybe your friend shouldn't walk aroundz in a clown clothes."

"Sorry, sorry, it was a dare," the man replied with a chuckle.

"Your dare got me beat up by a bambi looking kid," the clown exclaimed.

"I not a bambi. I am manly az hell," Eren pouted childishly. "And bezidez I don't like It. It is scary."

"Pfft, I'm sorry," the man pursed his lips, trying to calm his own smile. "Those gifts over there, is it your birthday? Sorry if we turned your special night bad."

"Oh… it's o-kies," Eren bit his lower lip. He wasn't mad or scared anymore. The eye candy given to him made the trial of fear worthwhile. Fuck, did he sound shallow? Did it matter to Eren? Not really. "Iz your friend okies?"

"Yea, don't worry about her. There's nothing you could ever do to bring that guy down," the man assured Eren. "In fact, how about we try to end your night a bit better. Hanji!"

"What?" Hanji, the clown, asked.

"Make him something," Levi ordered as he turned Eren around to face the clown again.

"Ugh, fine," Hanji grumbled as she reached her back pockets and pulled out one white pencil balloon and a hand held pump. "Tell me boy, what's your name?"

Understanding what was happening, Eren smiled. He walked a little, just a little, closer to Hanji. He said, "Eren."

"Well, Eren, what would you like?" Hanji asked nicely to not scare the drunk Eren away.

"A unicooorn!" Eren excitedly exclaimed.

"Dear god, you're fucking cute," Hanji laughed as she started to pump the balloon up.

The clown used two balloons in total, one white and the other pink. With twists here and there, she presented the birthday boy with a balloon unicorn. Slowly, Eren reached for the unicorn and then quickly snatched it from the clown. As much as he wanted it, the clown still scared the shit out of him. Looking at the unicorn in his hand, Eren, once again, giggled to himself.

Eren lifted his unicorn up and pretended that he was galloping through the sky. He spun around and looked at the two strangers, especially Hanji, with a serious face. He all but screamed, "Unicorns are fucking magical! Try dat shitz again and den this unicorn'z shit will be drowning you til you diez! And I shall bestow you the name Sprinkles!"

"Oh my god! He's really fucking drunk!" Hanji laughed.

"Oi, brat, where's your dorm? We'll walk you back," Levi chuckled as he grabbed Eren's gifts. The man stared at the shattered glass on the ground thinking about how he was going to have to clean it up. At the end of the day, everything was his fault.

"I dooooon't neeeeed yoooou," Eren sassed as he held his unicorn close to his chest. "I got Sprinkles! Sprinkles shall take me to me beloved abode."

"Yes, yes, now lead the way," Levi rolled his eyes.

* * *

"I do not remember any of this shit," Eren rolled his eyes as he shoved fried rice, the only dish that Levi was capable of making, into his mouth.

"Yes, you do. You still make Hanji make you Sprinkles," Levi rolled his eyes back. "You just don't want to admit that you were scared shitless and the first thing you said to me was that I'm hot. Wait, sorry… I meant 'so da hot.'"

"Shut up!" Eren puffed his cheeks in embarrassment. "Who the fuck goes out in a clown suit in the middle of the night."

"Again, we said sorry," Levi smirked as he ate the dinner he made for Eren's birthday.

After that night, Eren woke up with a hangover and a balloon unicorn next to him. On the unicorn was Levi's number written with a permanent marker, so two days later, they met again. Two weeks after that, they started dating. Levi was a senior at that time while Eren was a junior. It had been one whole year since the two met, and Levi never let Eren live it down on how they met. Now, it was Eren's birthday, once again.

The two of them sat next to each other, eating fried rice and watching tv, on the couch in Levi's simple apartment. Unlike the year before, Eren opt out on a drinking party so he could hang out with Levi in his home, being the domesticated saps they were. That was not to say that he didn't celebrate his birthday with his friends. There was no way that he wasn't going to make Hanji make another Sprinkles for him. However, never again did he allow her to wear that clown costume.

Levi put his empty plate down on the coffee table and turned off the tv with a press on the power button on the remote controller. Eren looked over to Levi with a questioning look. The black haired man turned with a smirk. He opened his lips, getting ready to sin.

"So Eren, you have two choices for dessert. One: Me. Or two: boring old cake," Levi wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Hmm… I don't know," Eren pouted as he put his plate down. He was done eating as well. "I can't have both?"

"Are you sure you want both?" Levi smirked, causing Eren to blush.

"Yea," Eren squeaked.

"Then get in the bedroom," Levi ordered in a low voice.

"Okay," Eren responded as he rushed to the bedroom.

Levi followed after Eren with a small round cake in his hand. It was a normal chocolate cake with white cream. Eren eyed Levi putting the cake down on the night table from the bed, trying figure out what Levi was going to do. The older man had a bit of a cleaning obsession, so he wasn't sure what was going to do down. Apparently, Eren was supposed to.

"So, if I put whip cream on my dick, would you suck it?" Levi asked as he joined Eren on the bed. "I mean, you said you wanted both, right?"

"Uh… yea," Eren choked out through his embarrassment.

"Then come get it," Levi groaned with sexual frustration.

The older man, standing on his knees, unzipped his pants and brought them down. He displayed his half hard dick to his younger boyfriend. With his right hand, he dug his fingers into the cream of the cake and rubbed it all over his dick, beating it until it was rigid. Eren loved every second of it.

Eren crawled closer to Levi, jealous of the hand that was touching his boyfriend's dick. He nudged his cheek against Levi's dick, trying to get attention. He licked his lips as Levi offered his fingers to suck clean of cream. Eren stuck out his pink wet tongue and licked the palm of Levi's hand. It was so sweet, just how he liked it. He relished the way Levi shivered from the touch of his tongue.

Eren licked up the palm of Levi hand, reaching the tip of Levi's pointer finger. He took the finger into his mouth, sucking on it gently. Tasting the cream, he moaned at the sweetness. He felt Levi curl his finger to touch the roof of his mouth. Eren moaned once again. He released Levi's finger and went on to the next finger, doing the same thing again.

"God, you're so fucking filthy," Levi bit his lower lip.

Eren released Levi's thumb from his mouth with a wet pop, "And you like it."

"Yea, so please choke on my dick," Levi said.

"Romantic," Eren chuckled with a roll of his eyes.

"Only for you, baby," Levi replied.

Eren gave Levi one last smile before he kissed the head of his boyfriend's dick. He licked Levi's balls, causing the older man's dick to flex. He placed his tongue flat against the base and slowly brought it back up to the tip, taking in all the sweet whip cream. He put his lips around Levi's head and sucked hard. His mouth salivated from how good Levi tasted. Eren felt like he was on a high.

He down Levi's dick, hollowing his cheeks. He stopped midway and came back to the tip, looking up to his boyfriend in a teasing motion. Levi gritted his teeth as he placed one impatient hand on Eren's head. Eren went down halfway, already feeling the back of his mouth being pushed against. He moaned when Levi gripped his hair, making Levi thrust his hips involuntarily. Eren sucked hard, feeling Levi pulsating on his lips.

"Fuck, Eren," Levi grunted in a breathless voice, trying to not just shove his dick down Eren's throat. "Just take it all in already."

Without warning, Eren went down all the way, loving the way Levi's dick hit the back of his throat. Levi groaned as he pushed Eren's head hard against his crotch. Eren moaned, sending vibrations all over Levi's dick. Eren started to bob his head up and down along the shaft. He sucked on that dick like it was a lollipop or a popsicle. It was just so hard and sweet. It was fucking addicting.

Levi, unable to hold back anymore, started fucking Eren's mouth. Eren face heated up as tears developed from his eyes. It hurted, but it hurted so good. He brought his hand down to his clothed hard dick and started humping against his hand as his mouth was abused. Eren blinked his eyes, causing his tears to run down his face. He looked up to Levi who groaned again from the sight of him.

"I'm gonna cum," Levi announced. "You want it?"

Eren moaned and nodded his head in confirmation. Yes, he wanted it down his throat. Eren could only rut against his hand as Levi repeatedly shoved his dick in him. With one final thrust, Levi stopped thrusting, pushing Eren's nose against his pubic hairs. Eren quickly swallowed each load of cum that shot out into his mouth. Once Levi was done cumming, he pulled his dick out, leaving Eren's mouth to feel empty.

Eren pouted at Levi with his swollen lips. He leaned forward and licked Levi's head clean of cum. He gave a yelp when Levi pushed him down on the bed. Levi placed himself in between Eren's legs. Soon Eren's clothes were taken from him, revealing his weeping hard on to his boyfriend. Levi chuckled at the sight as he grabbed more whip cream, smearing it on Eren's nipples.

"I want a bite too," Levi said.

The older man leaned down, lapping at one of Eren's hard nubs. He sucked on it, loving the way Eren grabbed onto his arms. He held down Eren's hips, preventing the younger man from getting friction against his legs. With his other hand, he grabbed a piece of cake and shoved it into Eren's mouth, forcing Eren to be quiet. Eren whined as he ate the cake, sucking Levi's fingers clean as well. Levi finished one nipple and bit on it gently and then went to lick the other nipple clean. After cleaning it, he bit on it hard. Eren yelped and squeezed Levi in between his legs.

"Levi!" Eren cried with fingers in his mouth.

"Yea?" Levi asked.

"Hurry," Eren pouted.

"Okay then," Levi simply replied.

He took his fingers out of Eren's mouth and grabbed more cream. He placed some of the cream of Eren weeping dick and the rest against Eren's puckered lips. He kissed down Eren's body, making the younger man squirm under him. He reached Eren's dick and blew on it. Eren whined, he wanted to cum so badly.

Levi took Eren into his mouth in one go as he slipped in a finger inside him. Eren opened his legs wider, loving the attention. When he felt Levi's hand leave his hips, he thrusted his hips up into Levi's mouth. Eren felt a knot forming inside of his stomach. He was going to come, but he needed something to send him over the edge. He continued to desperately thrust into Levi as he felt another finger slip inside of him. Then Levi touched it.

"Ahh!" Eren cried out as white took over his vision. He felt himself tighten around Levi's fingers as he came inside Levi's mouth.

Levi sucked on his sensitive dick, determined to get every single drop of cum. Soon, Levi pulled away with a wet pop. He licked down Eren's dick to his puckered lips full of cream. Levi kissed it as he pulled his fingers out to only replace them with his tongue. Eren's hands reached down to grab Levi's hair. His grip became harsh as he felt Levi sucking on his asshole. He just came, this was way too much. Eren whined and cried as he pushed against Levi's tongue. With one hard suck, Levi pulled away.

"Can I fuck you yet?" Levi asked as he propped Eren's legs on his shoulders. He rubbed his new hard on against Eren's hole.

Still on his high, Eren nodded despite how sensitive he was at the moment. He opened his arms, waiting for Levi to come into him. Levi pushed the tip of his dick against Eren's hole. With one hand holding Eren's ass, Levi leaned forward, supporting himself with an arm near Eren's head. Eren wrapped his arms around Levi's neck. Levi kissed Eren's swollen lips and sheathed himself into Eren's warmth.

"Ugh," Levi grunted in a raspy voice against Eren's ear as his whole body went rigid, waiting for Eren to get used to his dick. "You're so fucking tight around my dick."

"Levi, move more," Eren complained in a high pitched voice. He grounded his ass against the dick inside of him.

"Then scream for me," Levi replied as he got up, moving into a more comfortable position. "I like it when you do."

Eren watched as Levi pulled his legs further apart. He let out a yelp when Levi hard grips on his hips pulled him closer to his boyfriend. Levi grounded his dick into Eren, making the younger moan. Eren whined when he felt Levi pull his dick out and was soon gasping for air when it came back in with a strong force. Levi rammed into Eren over and over and Eren loved every moment of it. Eren cried out, screaming Levi's name, and Levi loved every moment of that.

Levi watched where his dick disappeared over and over. It was amazing how Eren could take all of him in that tight little ass. Soon Levi felt the old familiar knot forming in his stomach. He grabbed Eren hard dick, causing the younger to try to close his legs again from overstimulation. Levi pushed Eren's leg apart and leaned forward before grabbing Eren's dick again. He kissed Eren's lips and went to kiss Eren's neck. He sucked on the skin there and bit it. The way Eren screamed was music to his ears.

"Fuck! Eren, I'm gonna cum," Levi announced yet again before he went back to sucking Eren's neck. Dying to cum with how tight Eren was becoming, he pulled back again. "Where d-"

"LEEVII!" Eren all but screamed. "Inside… COME INSIDE!"

Levi didn't need to be told twice. He increased his pace while stroking Eren's dick. When his release came, he bit down on Eren's neck, who only gasped in a high pitch as he came as well. Levi groaned from the sound, because Eren was just too damn cute.

Once he was finished, Levi looked up and kissed Eren's lips. Eren looked at his boyfriend with glossy eyes, too high from release. He smiled as Levi kissed his forehead before pulling out of him. He cringed when he felt Levi's cum leaving him. He was so empty and yet full at the same time.

"I love you," Levi whispered as he continued to kiss Eren's face.

"I love you too," Eren replied with a giggle.

"You should, because with me here, no clown would want to mess with you," Levi chuckled.

"Shut up," Eren pouted.

"Happy birthday, Eren."

 **Thanks for reading. You are all loved. :D**

 **Yes, I know, many of you want an update on How About A Little Bit of Education. Don't worry, I am working on it and my other stories.**

 **And honestly, wouldn't you all punch a clown if you saw them after dark?**


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